There is no Cow Level!

I enjoy video games. I have since I was a little kid. I prefer RPGs and Action Adventure games to First-Person Shooters. I mostly play games for the story first, the gameplay second, and the graphics dead last. My two favorite games of all time are Lufia II: Rise of the Sinistrals (SNES) which came out fifteen years ago and Final Fantasy III/Six (SNES/PS1) which was seventeen years ago. A game that looks shiny and pretty but sucks for story isn’t a game I will enjoy.

Currently, I’m playing Diablo III. I’ve already beat normal mode with one character, so I’ve seen all of the story until they release the first expansion. It was interesting, but certainly not the greatest. I kinda like that it isn’t a happy ending and that there are a few loose ends left at the end, which I really hope they cover with the expansions. Also, I’m fairly convinced that the characters you play are full of themselves, and are kinda dicks. Dead bodies? Loot them! Ancient Bones? Destroy them! Bookshelves? Break them! Pots of Ashes (of dead people)? Smash them! Ancient Tomes? Slice them!

It isn’t a game that I can play on end like my Husband does. I’ll play for a little while, then go do something else. However, my favorite thing to do is go to Whimsyshire and slaughter cute things. It is quite therapeutic.

In Diablo I, there was a rumor of a Cow Level that didn’t exist. In Diablo II, there *was* a Cow Level, a secret area with a epic-crapton of Cows who stood on two legs and carried halberds. That was one of my favorite levels. In Diablo III, there isn’t a Cow Level, but you do talk to the Ghost of the Cow King (from II) who opens the portal to Whimsyshire. I spent all of Saturday running around the game collecting the items I needed to make the Staff of Herding so I could go there myself.

I haven’t let my six-year-old daughter watch me play that level for good reason.

Cow Level? There is no Cow Level! Just a land of sparkling happiness and rainbows.